My own care has actually been, for the most part, incredibly positive.
I've met kind midwives and healthcare professionals who have looked after me brilliantly.
But knowing my trust was under investigation occupied a space in the back of my mind.
It inevitably made me question how I could increase my chances of a good birth – no matter what that looked like.
The thing I've found hardest about pregnancy is how much control you lose.
You can't control how your body changes. You can't control how uncomfortable you become.
You can't control how your birth will unfold. People often say to me: 'The birth never goes to plan anyway.'
Maybe they are right.
But if there was one decision I could make before everything became unpredictable, I wanted it to be mine.
And for me, that was choosing a caesarean.
Not because I think vaginal birth is wrong, not because I am 'too posh to push', not because I think every woman should do the same.
It was simply because, after everything I'd heard, everything I'd read and everything I'd experienced, it was the option that gave me the greatest sense of calm.
Caesarean sections are major surgery and not without risk.
But for me, giving birth in this way feels like a way of mitigating the many uncontrolled risks that the Ockenden report explores in such horrifying detail.
This isn't an argument against vaginal birth.
It's an argument for making sure women feel so safe, so listened to and so well supported that, whatever birth they choose, it genuinely feels like a choice and not the 'least worst option'.
That's what I hope maternity care in this country can become.
I want a system where every woman, regardless of how she chooses to give birth, can go into labour with the confidence that she will be heard.
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Because surely that should be the minimum expectation, not the aspiration.
