Former England football captain Terry Butcher has shared intimate details about his career and the tragic loss of his veteran son in an upcoming ITV documentary.
The film, titled "Butcher: Invisible Wounds," addresses the mental health struggles of military families and is set to air in June after a cinema premiere in Ipswich.
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Butcher's eldest son, Christopher, died at age 35 at the family home in east Suffolk following tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.
A coroner ruled his death resulted from an abnormal heart enlargement combined with drug effects against a background of severe PTSD.
"I've never given anybody a story like this," Butcher said. "But if you're going to do something, do it well.
This is a story much bigger than me."
Living with Grief
Butcher described his nightly routine, still acknowledging his son.
"When I go up to bed in the evening, Chris's room is on the left and our room is on the right.
I always stop at the top of the stairs and say good night to him."
The family visits Christopher's military grave, which features an artillery crest. "We sort of hug the stone and always say, 'See you at home, son.'
It's really tough, but it's just part of our life now."
Butcher admitted he previously suppressed emotions due to his reputation as a sports hard man. "I was feted as this so-called hard man.
You just didn't cry. But I think you have to.
