Reality TV couple Amanda Batula and Kyle Cooke addressed the breakdown of their four-year marriage and lack of intimacy during part two of the In the City reunion, broadcast on July 28.
The former couple, who announced their separation in January, clarified earlier statements about their relationship dynamics after previously claiming they had no physical intimacy throughout their marriage following their September 2021 wedding.
Batula attributed the lack of romantic intimacy primarily to mental health challenges and emotional distance within the relationship during their pre-wedding period and throughout the marriage.
"I was depressed. Depression will do that.
That was part of it," said Batula.
She explained that the absence of emotional connection and shared personal time made it difficult to engage intimately with her spouse.
"This is a conversation we had in therapy also before our wedding, that I didn't feel like — Kyle wasn't courting me.
This is how I felt," said Batula.
Batula added that her spouse spent extensive hours working before attempting physical intimacy without prior emotional connection.
"I wasn't being courted. There were no dates," said Batula.
She recounted how routine interactions centered primarily on professional responsibilities rather than personal connection.
"He would work all day, work all night, then come to bed, tell me to answer an email and then try to have sex with me.
It felt like there was no foreplay. There was no emotional intimacy.
There was no conversation," said Batula.
Batula expressed that the lack of engagement made her feel valued only as an object rather than a partner.
"I felt, this was not his intention or what he was doing, I felt [used]. I felt like I was just an object at that point," said Batula.
She noted that subsequent personal struggles and social outings further exacerbated marital tensions.
"Then the depression hit also. Then it was an unfortunate storm," said Batula.
Cooke's Perspective and Defense
Cooke responded during the broadcast by giving context regarding their initial months of marriage and clarifying the frequency of their intimacy.
"We went into a funk immediately after our wedding," said Cooke, founder of Loverboy.
He described taking steps to seek professional guidance shortly after they wed.
"I tried for years to get us into couples therapy," said Cooke.
Cooke directly questioned the situation to their castmates while providing further specifics regarding their physical relationship.
"Can you imagine, this is not like a guy-girl thing. We get married and we never have sex," said Cooke.
He clarified that the pair had minimal physical intimacy rather than complete absence.
"We didn't have sex — technically it wasn't four years of nothing. We had, like, sex three times.
I'm just saying," said Cooke.
Addressing criticism regarding his routine, Cooke defended his focus on long-term stability and business growth while managing household planning.
"First I'm a workaholic, now I'm an alcoholic. I could never do anything," said Cooke.
He asserted that financial security and logistics were entirely his responsibility during their relationship.
"Meanwhile, I'm providing. Everything in our life was on my shoulders," said Cooke.
He detailed his effort in organizing personal trips and managing daily schedules while building his company.
"I'm putting in the hours [then] so we could provide for our family later," said Cooke.
Batula pushed back against Cooke's narrative, noting that his sole focus on career goals caused her to feel neglected.
"I was being put on the backburner," said Batula.
She stressed that career demands actively eroded their personal bond over time.
"It did take a toll on our romantic and intimate relationship because your priority was work," said Batula.
She recalled his suggested solutions to help her adapt to his professional demands.
"And your solution was for me to read a book on how to date an entrepreneur and I wanted you to take me on a date," said Batula.
She concluded that both agreed on the facts regarding the strain work placed on their union.
"You're literally saying exactly what I'm saying," said Batula.
She reiterated that his intense focus on building a future ultimately harmed their bond.
"You worked really hard for our future but it did have an effect on our marriage and our relationship," said Batula.
Host Andy Cohen inquired whether Cooke took responsibility for the relationship dynamics, which Cooke affirmed while explaining his perspective on organizing activities.
"Of course," said Cooke.
He added that he managed all planning aspects for dates and vacations.
"One of my issues, like every single thing we ever did, was only because I arranged it.
So, like every date we ever went on, trip, getaway, I'm putting in the hours now or then, so we can provide for a family later," said Cooke.
In response to a direct question from Cohen regarding how long the relationship lacked mutual fulfillment, both confirmed it spanned their entire marriage.
"Four," said Batula.
Cooke corroborated her statement regarding the duration of their marital difficulties.
"The entire time," said Cooke.
Divorce Proceedings Update
Regarding the legal status of their separation, Batula updated the host on their current divorce proceedings.
"He did respond to my lawyer with some requests," said Batula.
She detailed his settlement conditions while noting ongoing legal consultations.
"He wants to do a walkaway divorce but is not just walking away. I have to speak to my lawyer and get back to him," said Batula.
Batula noted that financial considerations and shared pet custody remain unresolved aspects of their pending divorce negotiations.
