A $50 Roblox gift card from Target and a hug would be a better gift than any of those.
Let's Start by Eliminating the Electoral College
The whole thing has turned into a real pain, not just because the absurd system gave Donald Trump the presidency despite his winning fewer votes than his competition in 2016.
Put that aside for a moment: the real problem with the electoral college is I have to do math every four years.
Trying to cobble together how many electoral votes each candidate has is only slightly less annoying than figuring out various World Cup group stage tiebreaker scenarios.
We might as well pick the president through a marathon session of Dungeons & Dragons. Let John Roberts be the dungeon master and see how it goes.
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It would certainly be more entertaining than what happened in 2000.
My second gift to the United States would be making Puerto Rico a state. The US controls 14 territories, five of them inhabited by people.
Puerto Rico might be a mostly self-governing community with a unique culture that predominantly speaks a different language, but so is Texas.
Throw Guam in there while we're cooking, too. I think we're due for a new flag anyway.
Plenty of room for more stars up there.
Lastly, and most important of all, I'd force HBO to do a season nine of Game of Thrones.
So many Americans simply weren't satisfied with how the show ended. Time to fix this and truly bring the country together.
