School's out and holidays are here, marking the start of what many Britons consider their biggest annual event: the all-inclusive buffet Olympics.
While Wimbledon and the World Cup draw crowds, the true competitive spirit emerges at the breakfast, lunch, and dinner spreads.
Arriving at Luton airport before dawn last year, my children witnessed fellow travelers drinking alcohol at first light.
This is the new normal for British holidays, where maximalist tendencies have been formalized since Covid.
The Rise of All-Inclusive Bookings
Between 2023 and 2024, bookings for European all-inclusive resorts rose by 30%.
Abta reports that a quarter of British holidaymakers now choose all-inclusive packages, offering bottomless food and drink that feels free despite upfront payment.
The trend is partly driven by a desire to fix costs in a wobbly economy and enjoy zero-decision holidays.
But the bigger draw is the Challenge of the Buffet: extracting maximum value while preserving dignity and appetite.
Lessons from the Pizza Hut Era
Those of us who grew up in the 1980s Pizza Hut salad bar honed our skills in a high-pressure environment.
The strategy involved layering lightweight leaves and shredded cheese at the bottom, then building up with croutons and ham cubes, and using bread sticks to prop up the lid for extra space.
The highest value item was the tinned pineapple ring, balanced wetly on the lid and presented defiantly at the cash desk.
This experience prepared us for the all-inclusive buffets of today.
Historically, the greatest buffets were in Las Vegas, where hotels offered multiple rooms with high-end fare.
The New York Times reports that such buffets have dwindled from about 70 in 2019 to just half a dozen now, due to rising food prices.
In contrast, the European model emphasizes volume over luxury.
The key strategy is to avoid cheap, filling fare like pasta and instead focus on the single luxury item, such as the ibérico-ham station at a Spanish resort last year.
Despite the headache from salt, it was worth it. Spiking prices and food waste may eventually end these options, but the memories remain.
As my child said, "You have to stop talking about the ham." But I won't.
